Wednesday, December 1, 2010


First of all, let me say that Quattro Pazzi is amazing. The food and the service are fantastic, and I have nothing bad to say about this new top drawer addition to our area.

However, be sure you don't sit next to the table I sat next to this evening. Here's a little sampling of our not-so-neighborly encounter:

Giant table of men: "Gafaw gafaw gafaw, that Leslie is alright. She sure makes a man feel good, if you know what I'm saying. Cackle cackle cackle"

Me and my friend: Polite pretend-we-can't-hear-you conversation.

Giant table of men: "Remember that time when I slept with my wife's sister. Oh man! Gafaw gafaw gafaw"

Me and my friend: Polite conversation interrupted by dramatic eye rolling

Giant table of men: "LOUD LOUD *sexual reference* LOUD LOUD LOUD"

Me: "I'm sorry, I can still hear myself think. Could you guys be a little louder?"

Giant table of men: "I think these girls need to be relocated. *sexual reference, sexual reference, fart joke, sexual reference*"

Me: "It's not my fault that your mother never taught you any manners" (ok, perhaps not all that mature, but still...)

Giant table of men: "Did you have to bring my mother into this?" *soft weeping*

Ok, maybe not soft weeping - but really? You can't let other people around you have a decent conversation? Is it too much to ask? These guys were well into their 40s. It's time to grow the %^&*! up, boys! How's about the locker room chat stay in the locker room. And if we're bringing it to the dinner table, let's have the decency to use our inside voices.

At the end of the evening, everyone made nice and said "Happy Holidays," but I sure would have appreciated a little apparently-not-as-common-as-it-should-be common courtesy.


Streets of Stamford said...

Isn't this the second time you've had an awkward, creepy moment at a restaurant?

Anonymous said...

Once I was at the Italian Center pool (a place CRAWLING with children, mind you) and my husband overheard some older dude, a ringer for Sopranos character Paulie Walnuts, loudly regaling his poolside companions (younger versions of himself) with tales of office-place conquests. "Huh bawdy was incredible!" faux Paulie had said at several decibels above necessary. He was clearly audible from about 15 feet away. Ewwww.

Malerie said...

These guys were probably celebrating the fact that they were single, because, really, what woman in her right mind would stand any one of them!

Poems in Search of Pictures said...

All true everybody!! Yeah, I seem to be a creep magnet - with a giant exception for my totally uncreepy and wonderful husband. Thank God for exceptions. Loved your story, Anon! When will they make mute buttons for a-holes?